GOODBYE ATL: Survival mode

As our D day approaches, the days fill with up with goodbyes and clear of stuff. It's like a game. Musical chairs. You keep doing the same old things but when the music stops somebody removes one thing in your house. In this version of the game instead of one item at a time it happens one box full of items at a time. The simplest tasks become a creative challenge. How do I eat without silverware? How do I cook meals with only one little pot? When the plates were packed we used bowls, when the bowls were packed we used the mugs. Now that the mugs are packed we eat out of mason jars. There's no challenge we can't overcome. Dory is watching her bowl of food closely just in case we pack the mason jars.

While eating a slightly too toasted coconut rice from a mason jar by myself in my almost empty kitchen I started thinking about how blinded we become with the fake "needs" of material goods. It sounds cliché. Don't worry, I'm not turning into radical minimalism. I still appreciate every single tool in my kitchen. It's just that recently I've been working non stop with the goal of making money right in front of me, like a carrot dangling in front of a horse. This money we need to cover our basic needs, obviously, but also to buy things, things we "need", because successful people have them and they seem to enjoy it. These things seem to make the difference between thriving and surviving. And we all know we want to be thrivers, not survivors. It's like a hamster wheel, and once you start running in it you cannot stop. Well, you can, but usually you have to be pushed out of it. I was eating my slightly burned dinner while watching my wheel spin.

I was 100% deep in a job that I was not in love with. Besides that I found another job on the side (because why not). I come from a very hard working family and they taught me that when in doubt... work more and harder. I could afford extra stuff because of all that work, but I was too tired to enjoy my free time, and I felt like I never had enough money to live the "thriving" life I had in mind. I felt like I was surviving. Every day. Working until exhaustion chasing that carrot that was always ahead of me. The last past week I haven't been working for money. I have been taking care of my family, taking care of my home, taking care of my friends. Making sure I get to see everybody before I leave, engaging in meaningful conversations. I have been investing all my time in this work, I haven't stopped. The days had the same amount of hours and I have been on my feet the same amount of time (if not more). And I've never been more full of energy. I'm eating from a mason jar after a long day of working non stop and I'm not drained. I'm putting away all my belongings (the ones I've worked so hard for) in boxes and I am genuinely happy. My perspective changed and now I realize that I don't need that carrot (we do need real carrots though, vitamin C is important), because nobody can have it (not even the people who post pictures of it on Instagram) so I won't waste my time and energy on it. I will work (more and harder) towards my purpose in life, towards the fulfillment of my heart and my soul. I'll work for things I cannot pack in a storage unit.

If living a thriving life makes you feel like you are barely surviving, let go, it's time to quit chasing . It's time to look inside and up. You already have what you are looking for.